Urinetown 2: The Sequel
by DivineYogurt
Summary: With no option remaining, Hope Cladwell uses dark magic to revive Bobby Strong from Urinetown. However, as if linked by fate, Caldwell B. Cladwell makes his return as well, attempting to resecure his iron grip on the land. Can the Urinetowners band together and fight for freedom once more, and send the diabolic fiend back to Urinetown whence he came?
1. Chapter 0 - Prologue

**AN:**

So one day I was just thinking about Urinetown.

So now I'm gonna write fan fiction

Yay me

* * *

Hope Caldwell groaned as she slammed her head into her toilet-shaped desk. They were beginning to run out of water at an alarming rate, and she had no clue what to do, short of reinstating the Water Preservation Act and charging people to pee once more. As tempting as that option sounded, Hope had unfortunately specifically promised to not reinstate the Water Preservation Act in her first speech as the president of the Bobby Strong Memorial Toilet Authority.

"There must be a way to do something…" Hope muttered to herself. "If only Bobby were here. He'd know what to do. Bobby _always_ knew what to do…"

"Perhaps I can assist with that Ms. Cladwell."

Hope nearly fell out of her seat at the sound of the all too familiar voice.

"Officer Lockstock?"

"The one and only," the man said, stepping from the shadows of the room, wearing a tattered blue shirt and sporting a shaggy hairdo and beard that would make Steve Rogers proud. On his head sat an old, faded police cap and he had a brown leather bag over his shoulder. "Although I'm not quite an officer anymore…"

"Never mind that," Hope said, standing up and walking over to Lockstock. "You said you could help with the trouble we're having?"

"You said "If only Bobby were here", correct?" Lockstock asked. "Well…I may know of a way to bring him back."

"You do?" Hope asked, hope in her eyes for the first time in weeks. "Tell me!"

"Well…we're going to need help." Lockstock explained. "Get Ms. Pennywise and Little Sally."

A bit confused at the request, but at this point willing to grasp to any small hope she had left, Hope tapped a button on her desk. A few moments later, Tiny Tina strolled into the room, eyeing Lockstock curiously.

"Get Ms. Pennywise and Little Sally for me, will you Tina?" Hope requested. Tiny Tina nodded and left the room. A few minutes later, the doors opened and Penelope Pennywise and Little Sally walked in.

"What is it Hope dear?" Ms. Pennywise asked her daughter worriedly. "I know you've been going through a lot recently, and with Josephine's passing-"

"Officer Lockstock!" Little Sally interrupted, sprinting over and wrapping the former officer in a tight hug. "I thought you said you would lay low! What are you doing here?"

"I think I've found your happy ending Little Sally." Lockstock explained with a smile. Little Sally's face lit up with a hopeful grin.

"Really?" The girl asked, tears springing to her eyes.

Hope really hoped that Lockstock's plan would work. After all, it was their last hope. If it failed, all hope would be lost for the people of the town, and Hope would lose any hope she had left of surviving any longer.

Lockstock positioned the three girls in a triangular shape, with each at a point. Lockstock dug around in his bag and pulled out a Barbie Doll florescent pink piece of chalk. Little Sally tilted her head.

"Officer Lockstock?" She asked, a bit nervous as she stared at the haggard officer. "Why do you have Barbie Doll florescent pink chalk?"

Lockstock didn't respond and drew an equilateral triangle around the girls. Once the shape was finished, Lockstock threw away the Barbie Doll florescent pink chalk and dug around in his bag some more. After a moment, he pulled out some auto-erotic asphyxiation purple chalk, which he smiled at fondly. Lockstock caressed the chalk gently, before bending down and tracing a large circle around the triangle. Finally, Lockstock gently placed down the auto-erotic asphyxiation purple chalk and pulled out a court-ordered urine sample yellow chalk. Crouching down, the former officer slowly and deliberately drew a perfect square around the circle, completing the diagram.

The moment the diagram was completed, the lines lit up with dark magical energy, runes swirling around the room. All three girls looked around in shock at Lockstock's work. Little Sally nervously moved, causing the lines to flicker. Little Sally froze and stopped moving.

"Everyone, stay as still as possible." Lockstock warned. "I need a few moments to conduct the ritual."

The three female humanoids nodded and remained as still as possible. Between each of them, Lockstock drew another circle in Barbie Doll florescent pink, auto-erotic asphyxiation purple and court-ordered urine sample yellow chalk, before drawing a circle in the center with all three.

"Now…" Lockstock said, standing in the center of the circle. "We can begin…"

Lockstock closed his eyes, a golden urine-colored aura surrounding him. With a crack of thunder, Lockstock opened his eyes, which were pupils and completely Urinetown yellow. Unable to control their own limbs, all three feminine individuals lifted their arms straight up into the air and performed the splits. Lockstock began to chant in a deep bass voice, slowly floating into the air as Urinetown golden lightning began to crackle around him.

"Yrots tsedlo hte sti! Yrots tsedlo hte sti! Yrots tsedlo hte sti! Desserppo sessam htiw! Sessam! Desserppo sessam! Nwoteniru ni! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHS EHT HTIW NO!"

With a flash of energy, all the light of energy exploded, sending all four homosapians flying back away from the diagram. Lockstock smiled. Little Sally stared in awe as, from the Urinetown yellow light, a young man emerged.

"Ken'etsu!" Lockstock exclaimed, holding out his hand. Instantly a bright glare of light flashed over the man's lower half, blocking it from view. The boy gasped for air as he was reborn from beyond.

Bobby Strong had returned.

* * *

 **AN:**

So yeah, that was it. Anyway that's all for now and-

* * *

"Miss me?"

Everyone gasped as they turned. Standing in the corner, arms folded with a smug smile on his face was the Baron of Urinetown himself, rifling through a stack of Clad-Bucks. He was also naked, which Lockstock quickly blocked with another swift "Ken'etsu". It was him. The Prince of Pee. The Master of Piss. Caldwell B. Cladwell was back with a vengeance.


	2. Chapter 1 - Return of the Claddy Daddy

**AN:**

Ha this is a fanfiction woooooooooo

* * *

"Caldwell!?" Ms. Pennywise exclaimed in shock, walking up to Cladwell and poking his rugged face, as if you confirm he was real. "How are you here?"

Cladwell just shrugged, looking just as confused as the rest of the room.

"I dunno," he said, scratching his stubble. "All I remember was floating naked in a pool of urine, then BAM. Here."

"Er…that's my bad." Lockstock admitted awkwardly. Little Sally, Ms. Pennywise, Hope, Bobby and Cladwell all looked at Lockstock in confusion. Lockstock shifted his feet.

"The spell I used was specifically made to revive main characters," Lockstock explained. "Unfortunately…that includes Caldwell B. Cladwell."

"And me." Officer Christine Barrel added awkwardly from the corner of the room, also naked. Lockstock glanced over and muttered a quick "Ken'etsu" before continuing his explanation.

"There was no other way to bring back Bobby Strong," Lockstock admitted with a frown. "Thankfully, the main characters are a fairly small group of people so-"

"Who art thou fiends?"

The seven humanoids all looked over to the final corner of the room in shock. From the shadows stepped a Hagrid-looking fellow, with anime loli light blue hair and a shaggy beard. He was quite small, only about a head taller than Little Sally (who, as the name implied, was not very tall herself) and carried a sheathed sword in his right hand. His left arm was completely robotic, with glowing lines the same color as his hair and his right eye was nothing but a jagged scar.

"Old-So-And-So?" Lockstock and Barrel both exclaimed in shock simultaneously at the sight of the man. Old-So-And-So nodded and glared at the two (former) officers with seething rage in his eyes.

"How have thoust lives been?" Old-So-And-So asked in mocking Shakespearian. "Myest? Well, I's been fine ever since thoust THREW ME OFF A BUILDING YOU POISONOUS BUNCH-BACKED TOADS!"

"Er…yeah…" Lockstock said, scratching his head awkwardly. "Sorry?"

"I am sick when I do look on thee…" Old-So-And-So muttered in disgust, pointedly looking away and at the other individuals in the room. "So who are you?"

"You're Old-So-And-So?" Bobby asked the man, mouth hanging open as wide as the rest of the motley cast. "I mean, you're so…you know?"

Old-So-And-So sighed, placing his face into his (robotic) hand. Hope elbowed Bobby with a glare, the boy shifting awkwardly in response. Little Sally perked up and raised her hand with a small gasp, attracting the attention of Old-So-And-So

"Yes…" Old-So-And-So said, trailing off as he looked the young girl up, trying to place her name. "Becky?"

"Little Sally." Little Sally corrected, a bit upset that the man didn't recognize her. Then again, they had only met once or twice. Then then again, there weren't exactly a ton of poor people in the town to memorize the names of. Just her, Little Becky Two Shoes, Hot Blades Harry, Soupy Sue, Tiny Tom, Tiny Tina, Billy Boy Bill, Robby the Stockfish and the assorted ensemble whose names had been lost to time. "So if you're here…does that mean we could bring back all the people Cladwell killed?"

Before Old-So-And-So could speak however, a pillar of flames erupted in the middle of the room. From the pillar, a fifteen year old figure emerged, dressed in a posh British outfit and sipping from a cup of Earl gay tea. The girl bounced excitedly as she gulped down the remaining tea, and waved away the smoke generated from the fire, coughing slightly. Lockstock pointed his finger at the still raging pillar of flames.

" _Jikan Sukippu_ _!"_ Lockstock exclaimed. From the tips of his fingers, green energy shot out, hitting the flames. The moment it did, the fire began to speed up, before suddenly dying out as if hours had passed. With the hazardous fire put out and the smoke cleared, the girl smiled as she looked at the homosapians…specifically the male ones. The humans all stepped back in fear of what this strange, British-looking girl might do.

"It's…it's…." The girl stammered, unable to fully form her sentence. The six of the seven humanoids exchanged confused glances a the girl's stammering, while Lockstock simply sighed silently. There was a tense silence until finally…

"MY SHIPS! THEY'RE BACK!"

"Hello Satan…" Lockstock sighed, sitting down onto Hope's desk. "Nice to see you again."

"S-Satan?" Bobby asked in disbelief, staring at the girl. _That_ was Satan? As in…the devil?

"In the flesh." Satan said with a curtsey and bow at the same time. "Nice to meet you Bobby Strong! I have…great plans for you."

"Er…thank you Ms….Tan," Bobby awkwardly stammered. "What…plans are those?"

"Well, to ship you of course!" Satan answered with a smile. "All my favorite ships involved you, and when you died I was heartbroken. But thanks to Locky, you're back! Speaking of….how do you feel about Dr. Sir Mr. Officer Lockstock?"

Satan pulled a notepad and pen from her plunging neckline, and clicked the tip out, ready to take notes.

"How do I…feel about Officer Lockstock?" Bobby slowly confirmed, confusion firmly planted on his face. "Well…I…don't like him very much. He's a cop."

"Hm…." Satan murmured, writing frantically, her pen flying across the page. "I'll have to do something about that…."

Bobby glanced over to Hope, who shrugged, just as confused as the young man.

"Now," Satan said, flipping to the next page. "Cladwell."

"Cladwell?" Bobby asked, clear disgust appearing on his face. "Ugh, I _hate_ him! Especially now since he…you know…killed me."

Satan clicked her tongue, shaking her head slowly.

"I suppose this is why they said it's "so non-canon"…" she muttered to herself, glancing between Cladwell and Bobby from the corner of her eye. "Well…we can fix this with time as well."

Satan flipped to the next page of her notebook and looked back at Bobby.

"Old-So-And-So?"

"I don't even know him!"

"Final question Mr. Strong." Satan quickly continued, making direct eye contact with Bobby. "Are you currently in a relationship?"

"In a relationship?" Bobby asked, sweat running down his forehead. "Well I…uh, that is to say….I think that….I might be-"

"We're a couple." Hope cut in, grabbing Bobby's arm and pulling him right up against her with a smile. Satan's cheerful expression immediately fell flat.

"I see…" the devil muttered darkly, frowning as she glanced between Hope and Bobby. "Well…we'll see about that."

The next instant, Satan was right back to her regular, cheerful, bubbly, energetic, friendly self. She waved goodbye with a big smile.

"Bye-bye Bobby!" She called, giving a playful wink. "Play nice with Claddy Daddy!"

With that, a dark portal opened beneath Satan, dropping her back into her small cottage in Brittland. The moment the devil vanished, Lockstock groaned, and pinched between his eyes in exasperation.

"I should have seen this coming." Lockstock admitted. "But I didn't…and now we're in this mess…"

"What's so bad Officer Lockstock?" Little Sally asked, tugging on the man's belt. Lockstock sighed and looked down at Little Sally.

"Satan is a…she's a shipper." Officer Lockstock finally blurted out. "And she'll stop at nothing to make those ships come true."

"Well that shouldn't be a problem." Little Sally said confidently. "We're not even on a coast or anything. Her ships shouldn't come close to us."

The entire room grew rather awkward at Little Sally's words, the six individuals exchanging glances. Finally Pennywise spoke up.

"Well, Little Sally…" she began slowly, walking over and squatting beside the small pigtailed girl. "You see…it's not those kinds of ships."

"Not those kinds of ships?" Little Sally echoed in confusion, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Like airships?"

"N-no…" Barrel said with a shake of his head. He walked over, joining Pennywise beside Little Sally. "Little Sally…they're not airships."

"Not airships or sea ships?" Little Sally asked in disbelief and confusion. She squeezed Teddy Lockstock tighter as she tilted her head curiously. "Then…what kind of ships?"

"R-r-relationships." Bobby finally managed to stammer out. Little Sally looked to the hero of the poor, the confusion evident in her youthful eyes. "Satan is a relationshipper. She…chooses pairings she likes…and puts them together."

Little Sally furrowed her eyebrows, utterly baffled by the explanations she was given. Relation…ships? And Satan…put them together?

"But…what if they don't really love each other?" Little Sally finally spoke. At this, the room are most uncomfortable, the homosapians silently arguing about who should explain the concept to the young girl. Finally, Lockstock lost his mental Street Fighter match with Bobby, thus designating him as the explanation giver.

"Satan…doesn't care if they don't really love each other at all." Lockstock explained, pointing to Bobby and Cladwell. "For example, Satan "ships" them. That means she believes that they make a good couple…for whatever reasons go on in her…skull."

"Don't you mean in her brain?"

"…no Little Sally. No, I don't."

* * *

 **AN:**

Bye


End file.
